The Missing Years
by Katelyn Rhianne
Summary: Want to know what happened to the Doug, Carol and the twins after they moved to Seattle? Find out here! Covers the lives of the Ross Family from s6e21 "Such Sweet Sorrow" to s15e19 "Old Times". Catch up on those nine years right here! UPDATED!
1. April 23rd, 2000 Part One

_Hi everyone! Welcome to my new story :) _

_A few things I have to mention before you read this: _

_This is a continuation to **my** fic "Such Sweet Sorrow" and a possible prequel to the other story I'm writing at the moment **(Unpublished so far)** "Ross Girls with Hathaway Curls". _

_The **idea** for this fic goes to DieHardBrendan, who wrote to me and suggested I write it. The **idea** for ome of the events during this story might also be credited to DieHardBrendan (It will say at the top of a chapter if it is). Other than that, all content belongs to me, meaning I am the sole author of this fic._

_And just to clear up my last sentence, any known characters (Doug, Carol, the twins, Mark, Elizabeth, Susan...etc) **do not** belong to me. Any storylines that took place before this story **do not** belong to me. However, unknown characters (Erin, Tom, Luke...etc) **do** belong to me, as well as events not credited to DieHardBrendan. _

_Also, I'm aware Mercer Island is a bigger place than I'm protraying it, just go with me on this. I'm a small town girl and therefore just find it disconcerting to write about big cities, having never lived in one, or visited one even near to the size of Seattle. Plus, this is a line up for my next fic, in which small town life is a big part of it for the twins. _

_Now, that's the boring stuff out of the way...So here we go :) Enjoy The Missing Years!_

**April 23rd, 2000, Part One**

The wind howled and the rain lashed outside but inside, a couple lay snug in bed, wrapped in each other's arms and tangled bed sheets. The room was lit only by moonlight, which fell across the couple and allowed them to see each other clearly.

All the walls were down now. The story of their year apart had been told, emotions unveiled, passion reignited. They had both made the promise to stay, for more time apart would not do any good for either of them.

The happiness that glowed inside of Carol now, matched only her joy when she had given birth to her daughters. And with the thought of her daughters, she broke from her sleepy daze, her eyes focusing on the man in front of her once more, the love of her life, her soul mate.

'We'll have to send for the girls' she murmured.

Doug smiled. His daughters. He would finally get to meet the little lives he'd helped create. He would have gone to Chicago, had she told him not to. He would have being there in a heartbeat, to hold her hand as she gave birth, to do night feeds so she could sleep, to do anything, be anything that she wanted him to be. But she had said not to come. And how could he refuse? He had already broken her heart, chose a new life alone when she had begged him to stay. He knew she wanted to prove she could do it alone, so he respected her wishes and stayed away.

But now, she was here. She had come to be with him, stay with him forever and they could finally be a family. He could make it up to all of them for not being there.

'I can't wait to meet them' he whispered back.

'They look like you, you know. But I can tell they will have my hair' Carol replied, smiling.

'Tell me about them' Doug requested, pulling her even closer.

'They are only five months old, there's not much to tell.'

'Of course there is. I want to know everything.'

Carol smiled, leaned in and pressed her lips to the hollow of Doug's neck. 'Tess is the quiet one. She's pretty content to sit and watch everything and anything around her. She has great focus, like she knows exactly what's going on and understands it. I think she'll be really smart, determined-'

'Like her mom' Doug added, interrupting her. Carol smiled.

'Kate is the troublesome one. She's more easily distracted and much more active. She's friendly, she doesn't mind staying with my mom during the day while I work. That's the only time Tess cries, when I go to work. Their personalities are so different, even now. But they look exactly alike, I've had to dress them differently to make sure I don't mix them up.'

Doug chuckled, trying to picture his daughters. Of course he had seen photographs, but that was different. Photographs didn't show their personalities, he couldn't hear their laughter, see the twinkle in their eyes, all the stuff that was most important. And he couldn't wait to finally hold them.

'Will we go get them, or will your mom bring them here?' he asked.

'My mom can bring them here. You know we can't deprive her of the opportunity to murder you for leaving' Carol said with a giggle.

She didn't mean any harm by it, but Doug felt the guilt, knowing he had let her down, let his daughters down. Carol nudged him.

'She'll want to see where her daughter and granddaughters are going to be living anyway' she added.

Doug smiled. 'It's not Chicago' he warned her.

'No, but it's where you are and where I belong. Plus, I like it. It's smaller, quieter. I can see us living here, the girls going to school and everything...' she let the sentence hang and Doug knew she was picturing the future.

He had chosen Mercer Island because of the difference between it and Chicago. It had that small town feel, the neighbours were friendly, it was right on the water, and Seattle was just forty minutes away. He liked the time he had to sit in the car though, clear his thoughts, get ready for the day ahead. His work at the University of Washington Medical Centre was demanding. He was no longer worked in the ER, just on the paediatric wards now. The things he saw made him want to protect his daughters even more.

The sun was rising now. Beams of light were slowly stretching across the room. The wind had died down and the rain had stopped. Birds could be heard chirping outside the window. It would be a beautiful day, and not just because of the weather.

'I guess I'll have to start looking for a job too' Carol said then. Her eyes were closed, a faint smile on her lips.

'I'll talk to the Chief of Staff at my hospital, see if there's any nursing positions open' Doug assured her.

'And it can be just like old times, us working together again.' Doug chuckled again.

'Just like old times' he repeated, then pressed his lips to Carol's forehead.

Just then, the still morning was interrupted by three sharp, loud knocks on the front door.

'Crap, I totally forgot' Doug groaned and sat up.

'Who is it?' Carol asked.

'My next door neighbour, Tom Henderson. We were meant to be going fishing this morning' Doug explained.

'Well, go. I don't mind. I'll call my mom, set up everything, get settled here' she told him with a smile.

'No, it's fine. I want to stay with you' Doug replied, brushing her hair back from her face.

Three more knocks on the door sounded, along with a shout of 'C'mon Doug, get up!'

Carol giggled. 'You better go let him in.'

Doug sighed and detangled himself from both Carol and the bed sheets. Once he had left the bedroom, Carol got out of the bed, pulled on her jeans and a sweatshirt belonging to Doug that lay over the chair. She pulled back her hair and tied it up. Then she made her way into the bathroom to wash. She could hear voices below her and once she was presentable, she followed them downstairs and into the kitchen.

A tall, slender man stood leaning against the breakfast bar. His hair was dark blond, his eyes bright blue. His face was prematurely lined, but he had a friendly smile and an easy presence. He wore jeans and a check shirt, the sleeves rolled up to his elbows.

'Hi' Carol said brightly, 'I'm Carol.' She offered him her hand.

She saw the sudden recognition in his face and knew Doug had talked about her to this man.

He took her hand and shook it firmly, his smile growing wider. 'Nice to meet you. I'm Tom, I live next door' he said, then he looked up at Doug. 'You never said she was this beautiful.'

Carol blushed while Doug chucked. 'I'm sure I mentioned it, once or twice' he replied.

'Or a million times' Tom teased and Carol smiled. 'So, will you be moving in here, Carol?' he asked her.

'Looks that way. If my mom doesn't refuse to bring the girls out here' Carol answered, going to Doug's side and leaning against him.

'Oh that's right, you're daughters. Tess and Kate, right?' he asked.

'Let me guess, Doug told you about them too?' Carol said, smiling.

'Just once or twice...or a million times' Tom replied. Carol laughed.

'We'll have to get together. I'm sure the wife would love to meet you and I've a little rugrat around the same age as your girls' Tom informed her.

'That sounds great' Carol said, meaning it. She really wanted to fit in well with the life Doug had built for himself here and this seemed like the right way to go about it.

'Right so, I'll leave you two lovebirds to it. Nice to finally meet you, Carol. Talk to you soon, Doug' Tom said. He waved and exited through the already open back door.

'He seems nice' Carol commented, moving towards the sink and moving the mess they created from their midnight feast the night before.

'Yeah, he's been a good friend. Listened to me droning on and on after I arrived here. Knocked a bit of life back into me.'

Carol thought back to their conversation they had the night before. She had told Doug everything, even about Luka, and in return he had told her about his time in Seattle, how depressed he had been in those first few months, constantly drinking, missing work. She was glad he had a friend like Tom now. Someone he could talk to, and it looked like Tom had done him good.

Carol smiled. 'Well, I'm glad he did. Now are you ready?' she asked.

'Ready for what?' Doug asked.

Carol walked across the kitchen and picked up the phone. 'To ring my mom.'

Doug bit his lip and raised his hands to show that they were shaking. Carol laughed, knowing he was faking it. Doug chuckled too and came to her side.

* * *

'Go for it' he said, wrapping his arms around her waist.


	2. April 23rd, 2000 Part Two

_**Thank you everyone who reviewed last chapter :) I wasn't expecting that many! It inspired me to write faster, which resulted in Chapter Two being posting much sooner than I thought. So enjoy... :)**_

**April 23rd, 2000, Part Two**

'Yes, mom,' Carol said. She rolled her eyes and Doug smiled, trying not to laugh.

'Yes, mom,' she said again, shaking her head this time. Doug ducked his head and nibbled her ear lobe. Carol tried to shove him away, while trying to keep her giggles down.

'Of course, mom,' she said, varying it slightly. This time Doug snorted loudly and Carol had to press her lips together to keep quiet.

'Okay mom, see you tomorrow. Give the girls a big kiss from mommy,' she said then. Doug raised his eyebrows.

'And daddy,' she added and Doug heard Helen Hathaway sigh loudly. He smiled.

'Okay, bye,' Carol said, and finally hung up the phone. Immediately she smacked Doug with the back of her hand. 'Could you have been anymore distracting?' she asked.

'Well yeah, I could have done this,' he said, then attacked her, tickling her in all the wrong places. Carol dissolved into fits of laughter and tried to push him away, without any luck.

Only a loud tapping on the glass of the back door brought the tickling attack to an end and they both looked around to see a tall, brunette woman standing in the doorway, a small blond toddler in one arm, a basket in the other.

'Can I come in?' she asked.

'Of course,' Doug replied and the woman stepped into the kitchen, 'Carol, this is Erin, Tom's wife, and their son, Luke. Erin, this is Carol,' Doug introduced.

Erin Henderson grinned and approached Carol. She swapped the basket in her right hand to her left, balancing the little boy on her hip and held out her hand. 'It's so nice to finally meet you. When Tom came home and mentioned that you were here, I just had to come and say hi. I hope I'm not interrupting anything.'

'Of course not. It's really nice to meet you too. And Luke. Hi, there,' Carol said, smiling at Luke. The toddler grinned at her and then tucked her head under his mother's chin.

'He can be a bit shy sometimes. Here, I brought you over a cake I baked this morning,' she said, handing the basket to Doug.

'Thanks Erin, but really, you didn't have to,' he said, placing it on the breakfast and then holding out his arms to Luke, whose whole face lit up and he mostly jumped into Doug's arms.

Carol smiled. It was nice seeing Doug with a child. She couldn't wait to see him with the girls.

'I'll make some coffee,' Carol said and walked around the island to switch on the coffee machine.

Erin slid onto a stood at the breakfast and smiled at Doug who was now lifting Luke high into the air and pretending to drop him. Luke was squealing with laughter.

'How old is he?' Carol asked.

'Eighteen months, almost,' Erin answered, 'Your girls are about the same age, right?'

'No, they're only five months. So there's a year between them. But I'm sure they'll love a little friend when they get here.'

'There not here now?' she asked.

'No, I left them with my mom. It was sort of like an impulse action, me coming here,' she explained.

Doug had now moved out onto the deck with Luke and Tom had joined them again.

'It's really good that you're here. I hope you don't mind but Doug told us a lot of what happened between you two. I guess he just needed to talk about it. But there's such a difference in him now, even since yesterday, before you arrived. He's so happy,' Erin said.

Carol smiled. 'There's a big difference in me, too,' she hesitated, 'How was he really? When he first got here?'

Erin pressed her lips together. 'Honestly, not very good. He didn't speak to us for weeks, even though both Tom and I tried really hard to be friendly and welcoming. He wouldn't speak to any of the neighbours at all. But slowly, he came around. He was much better when he found out you were pregnant and ever since your daughters were born, we can't get him to shut up about them, or you,' Erin told her, smiling towards the end.

Carol smiled, too, just as the coffee machine beeped. She searched the kitchen until she found the right cupboard, took out two mugs and brought them, along with the coffee pot, to the breakfast bar where Erin sat.

She was so glad that Tom and Erin had been such good friends to Doug. She knew how hard it had been for them to be separated, but she was at County. She had Mark and Elizabeth, loads of friends, and her mother. Doug had been alone.

'Thank you,' she told Erin, who smiled.

'We'll have to have you all over for a barbeque when your daughters get here' she said.

'That sounds great,' Carol told her truthfully. She liked Erin and hoped they could be good friends.

'Have you met any more of the neighbours?' Erin asked, sipping her coffee.

Carol shook her head. 'Am I in for a treat?'

Erin laughed. 'Most of them are really nice...and old. There are not many young families on this street. Just us, you and the Andersons three doors down. They're...nice, maybe a bit too friendly at times and they have enough kids to make up a football team. Then there's the Brandons. Mrs Brandon is a widow, her husband died a few years ago, cancer. She has two sons but they're both gone now. But the youngest boy left his daughter with Mrs Brandon, Jennifer, she's only about three or four years old now and Mrs Brandon dotes on her. And then, of course, you have Mrs Hernandez. She's lived in the same house for as long as I can remember, all on her own. She's the most foul-mouthed pensioner I've ever met and all the Andersons kids are terrified of her. She seems to like Doug, though. He helps her out sometimes with thing such as mowing her lawn or bringing her groceries, which is so kind of him. He definitely gets no thanks for it but Doug insists on helping her.'

Carol smiled, picturing Doug bringing groceries bags to Mrs Hernandez door and smiling that smile at her. Hearing about all the neighbours made her even more eager to get settled here. She couldn't wait to have the girls here, too. She could just see them, playing out on the deck with Luke in the summer time, while she, Doug, Erin and Tom had barbeques. She could see Doug teaching the girls to ride their bikes on the tree lined street out the front, or splashing around in the water that bordered their garden at the back.

She could definitely see herself spending the rest of her days in this beautiful place, watching the girls grow up, with Doug at her side.


	3. April 24th, 2000

**April 24th, 2000**

'Doug, stop stressing. Everything's going to be fine,' Carol said as she watched Doug pace the living room floor, almost wearing a whole in the hardwood.

Today was the day. The day Doug's life was going to change forever. He would be an idiot for not admitting he was scared. Scared out of his wits by all the sudden thoughts he was having. He was trying to be optimistic about things but come on, this is Doug Ross were talking about here. Doug _Mess Everything Up _Ross. Doug _Totally Unreliable _Ross. Doug _Scared Of Commitment _Ross. He tried to tell himself he was a changed man and up until yesterday he kind of believed that, but now, all the awful things he had done was replaying over and over in his mind. Most of all the look on Jake's face when he realised his new found father figure was a complete loser. Or the look on Carol's face when he ran from Chicago without a backwards glance. God, how did he think he was ready for this? Ready to be responsible for someone else. Had he not proved in the past that the one person he looked out for best was himself?

Carol shook her head and got up from the couch. She approached Doug, stopped his pacing and took both of his hands in hers.

'Everything is going to be fine,' she said again, slowly this time, pronouncing each and every word perfectly, her eyes holding his. Doug exhaled deeply, not realising he had even been holding his breath. He felt himself starting to calm down. How could he not when Carol stood so close, looking at him as though he was the most perfect man she had ever laid eyes on. He nodded mutely.

'I don't think I've ever seen you this nervous,' she commented, a playful smile playing across her face. He forced a smile too.

'I'm too used to Doug _All Confident _Ross,' she added and Doug snorted loudly. If only she knew what he had been thinking a minute ago, the descriptions of himself. All confident definitely wasn't one of them.

'I think I'll go check the room again,' he muttered after a few seconds and, dropping Carol hands, hurried from the room.

Carol shook her head as she watched him go, but couldn't help smiling too. She liked seeing this side of Doug. It was not a side of him that just anyone could see. This side of him was reserved especially for her. No one else knew how vulnerable he could be, how unsure of himself. She loved knowing it was just her who really knew this side of him. It made her feel as though she was privy to his best kept secret, that only she truly understood him and loved him for it.

A quick tapping on the slide door made Carol turn quickly to find Erin standing on the deck, smiling in at her. She crossed the room and unlocked the door and let her new friend in.

'Are they here?' Erin asked immediately, looking very excited.

Carol shook her head. 'Delayed flight. It will about another half hour or so.'

Erin looked more disappointed that Carol had felt when she got the call. But she quickly replaced her excited grin and said, 'Well that's okay, another half hour isn't so bad. How's Doug?'

Carol smiled and looked in Doug general direction. She could hear him moving about in one of the spare rooms upstairs.

'He's...nervous. He can't sit still for two seconds. It's kind of cute,' she told her friend.

Erin gave a little smile. 'Well he has fantasized about this day for over five months. He's bound to be nervous,' she reasoned and Carol nodded in agreement.

'Well, I'll leave you to it. Give us a shout when you're ready,' Erin added and turned for the door.

'Thanks Erin. See you soon,' Carol said and shut the sliding door behind her. Then, with a sigh, she left the living room and climbed the stairs to the second floor.

The door of the spare room was open and she could see Doug moving around inside. She crept closer and leaned against the doorframe, watching him with a mixture of love and amusement.

Yesterday afternoon, Doug had dragged Carol into the city of Seattle. He brought her to the hospital and introduced her to nearly every employee, all of whom seemed to know her and their story. Then he brought her to a huge department store and up to the fifth floor Baby section and had bought just about everything. Paint, beds, cribs, toys, teddies, pictures, mobiles, changing tables, bottles, comforters, soothers, clothes, diapers, car seats. He refused to listen when Carol pointed out that she had already bought a lot of this stuff, that the babies didn't need any more clothes or toys. So she decided to let him have his fun and they ended up buying so much, they had to use the offered delivery service to get it all home again. Then once at home, Doug had set to work clearing out a spare room and started to paint. Carol helped at first but once it got dark and Doug refused to stop working, she went downstairs to make dinner and ended up falling asleep on the couch. It was past three in the morning when Doug woke her and took her upstairs to see his work.

The two starter beds had been stored away for the future, when the twins would be big enough to use them, but all their other purchases, minus the car seats that had already been loaded into the car, had been used in the decorating of the girls' bedroom. The two cribs stood under the window, each against the opposite walls. Inside them were the new comforters and teddies, both so colourful it made Carol smile. Between the cribs stood a dresser, piled high with teddies, toys and baby books, plus a rocking chair stood beside it. The walls had been painted a bright, sunny yellow and stencils used to draw flowers, birds and butterflies, all a mass of colour. The biggest surprise was the words Tess and Kate stuck up on the wall, over the respective cribs, in large pink letters. Even some of the photographs Carol had sent Doug had been placed in frames around the room.

Now Doug was moving about the room, moving frames, teddies or toys. He had been doing this all day. Whenever he got too nervous, he would retreated to the room and move things around, then stand back to see its effect, then shake his head and move it again.

'You know, I don't think the twins are going to notice if their teddies are in the cribs or on the dresser,' she said aloud. Doug jumped and turned to face her, smiling sheepishly. Carol went to his side and he wrapped his arms around her.

'Just relax,' she told him and she felt his head move against the top of hers.

Just then they heard a car pull into the driveway and stop. A second later a car door banged shut and then came the sharp knocking on the front door.

Simultaneously, they took a deep breath and moved out of the room. Carol led the way down the stairs and across the hall to the door. Doug hesitated at the base of the stairs, unsure.

Carol shot him a reassuring smile before finally pulling back the door.

'Hi mom!' she said brightly, embracing her mother. Helen Hathaway smiled, glad to see her daughter but when her eyes fell on Doug, she frowned.

'So, the girls are in the car,' was all she said. Carol looked back at Doug and smiled encouraging. He left the stairs and joined her as she exited the house and approached the car. She opened one of the back doors and immediately, Doug heard an excited squeal and lots of gurgling sounds.

'There's my babies. Mommy missed you,' Carol cooed and she unstrapped one twin and took her from the car. She turned to smile at Doug and then reached out with the tiny baby in her arms.

But Doug was frozen in place. He couldn't move, or even breathe. There, right in front of him, was one of the little beings he had helped create and it scared him to death. He couldn't step forward and take the offered child. He'd drop her or do something else insanely stupid.

Carol frowned and, instead, handed the baby to her mother, then stepped around the car to take the second child from the car. She covered the little baby in kisses and was smiling like Doug had never seen her smile before. But it was easy for her. She knew their children, knew them inside out, their likes and dislikes, their personalities, their smiles, their laughs. And what did Doug know? Their names. He wasn't their father. He didn't know them, and they didn't know him. They would probably wail loudly if he got too close, terrified of the stranger.

A stranger, that's all he was to his own children. It was heartbreaking to realise that and the reality crushed down on him as he stood watching Carol and her mother smiling happily down at the two little girls that were his daughters, but only in the biological sense.

They moved inside and it seemed like an invisible force was dragging Doug along behind. They entered the living room. He followed. Helen sat down on the couch while Carol swayed on the spot, still smiling at the baby in her arms.

Then she looked up at Doug again. 'Doug, come here,' was all she said.

He hesitated, but followed her command. She pushed him down into the armchair beside her and then quickly placed the little baby in his arms.

He couldn't take his eyes from the baby's face, not for a second. He was mesmerized, captivated, as if the little girl had cast a spell over him. Little tufts of brown hair stuck up from her head, already starting to curl slightly. She was looking at him curiously, a tiny smile upon her perfect pink lips. Her chubby cheeks were flushed red and long, thick, black lashes framed her dazzlingly brown eyes. She was the most beautiful creation in the whole world.

A great love swelled in Doug's chest and he knew with absolutely certainty that there was nothing, absolutely nothing on this earth he would not do for this beautiful little person.

'Doug, meet Kate. And this is Tess,' Carol said gently and quickly placed another baby in his arms.

He looked back and forth between the two of them, confusion slowly creeping into his features. Wow, they really were identical, right down to the last strand of hair. He began to panic, what if he couldn't even tell his own daughters apart? What he if mixed them up and they suffered from an identity crisis later in life, not really knowing if they were who they were because their stupid father couldn't tell them apart.

But then, Carol sat down on the arm of the chair and ran a hand over Kate's head and smiled. 'You'll get used to it. They do have their differences, I promise,' she said.

Doug looked up at her, lost for words, then back down to his daughters, equally speechless.

The calm was returning now, now that Carol was closer. Happiness crept back in. These were his daughters. He was holding them for the very first time. They were all together at last and they could finally be a family.

He knew, though, that he would never give up trying to make it up to them. His family deserved the best and that's exactly what they were going to get from now on.

'They're perfect' he whispered, then looked up to Carol again, smiling widely. She bent and pressed her lips into his hair.


	4. November 25th, 2000

**November 25th, 2000**

Doug came up behind Carol and wrapped his arms around her waist. She turned her head to smile at him and then they both looked back to their daughters. They were playing on the ground with a two year old Luke, who was trying in vain to get them to walk. But all that was happening was they would stand, wobble for a minute, then crash back down to the ground and Luke would groan loudly, causing the adults in the room to laugh.

'Imagine, one year old already' Doug said quietly.

'I don't need to imagine. I know all about it. This day last year was pretty dramatic for me' Carol replied, smiling down at the girls and their friend.

She heard Doug stop breathing and wanted to hit herself for being so careless with her words. 'Don't say it' she told him.

'I should have been there' he said and Carol cringed. She turned to look at him.

'How many times do we have to go over this? You weren't there because I asked you not to come. I know you wanted to be there, I know you love me, I know you love the girls-' but she was cut short when Doug planted a kiss on her lips, smiling.

'I know, I'm sorry. But man are you cute when you get flustered' he said.

Carol hit him and he laughed loudly.

'Lukey, stop pulling Katie's hair!' Erin's voice floated back to them and the couple turned to see Luke hurriedly remove his hand from Kate's head. But the one year old was not about to let her friend get away with that. She reached out when Luke wasn't looking, grabbed a handful of his hair and yanked it. Luke howled in pain and Kate giggled, happy with her revenge. The adults laughed and Tom said, 'That's what you get, son.'

Just then the phone rang and Carol hurried away to answer it.

'So, you up for a game of golf tomorrow, Doug?' Tom asked.

Doug chucked. 'I would have thought you'd want to give that up.'

Tom waved a hand dismissively. 'I'll beat you eventually, just need to get a bit more practise in' he replied.

'I'll be sure to have some ice packs ready for you when you get home' Erin said, smiling fondly at her husband. He just made a face at her, causing Doug to laugh.

Luke pushed himself up from the floor and padded his way over to his parents and tapped Erin's knee. 'Cake?' he asked.

'Not yet sweetheart. Soon' Erin told him.

'Hey, the boy's right! Let's have some cake already. Where's Carol? ...Carol!' Doug shouted. He leaned back in his chair to look back into the kitchen and found Carol leaning against the breakfast bar, still holding the phone to her ear.

'She's still on the phone. We'll have cake when Carol comes back, alright?' Doug said to Luke who grinned and nodded his head.

But ten minutes later, Carol was still on the phone without any intention to get off any time soon. Doug rose from his chair and made his way into the kitchen. He lifted up one of the two birthday cakes that lay on the counter top and waved his hand to get Carol attention. She looked over briefly and held up a finger, signalling one minute.

'I'm so sorry we're missing it. You must be so excited,' Carol was saying, smiling widely.

Doug came to stand next to her and mouthed, 'Who is it?'

Carol mouthed back, 'Elizabeth!'

Now Doug understood the long phone call. It had been almost two months since either of them had spoken to someone back in Chicago, the last time being Elizabeth also, to announce that she and their long time friend Mark Greene were engaged. The two women had spent almost an hour on the phone while Carol begged for details. How did he propose? What was the ring like? When will the wedding be? Never try to understand to workings of a woman's mind. When Doug eventually prised the phone from Carol's hand so he could speak to Mark, all he had to say on the subject was congratulations.

'Elizabeth, I'm so sorry we're not there! I mean you were there for me every step of the way. I wish I could do the same for you' Carol was saying now, which caught Doug's attention and he raised his eyebrows in silent question. But Carol just waved him away with her hand and went on blabbering to Elizabeth. Doug sighed loudly and leaned against the breakfast bar, making it clear both he and everyone else was becoming impatient.

'Sorry Elizabeth, Doug is standing here with a face. Let me just tell him what's going on' Carol said. Elizabeth replied and Carol laughed loudly. Doug just shook his head.

'Yeah, I know. Hang on one second,' she said and then rested the phone against her shoulder.

'Elizabeth is pregnant!' she said quickly, her whole face bright with excitement.

Doug's mouth dropped open in shock. He was not expecting that. Wow, Mark was going to be a father again. Doug was so pleased for his friend, he now fully understood why Carol was taking so long on the phone. This was big.

He held out a hand and Carol sighed. She placed the phone back to her ear and said, 'Doug wants to say congratulations, I think. I'll pass you over to him,' then handed him the phone.

While Doug chatted with Elizabeth and then Mark, Carol prepared the girls birthday cakes and went to refill Tom and Erin's wine glasses.

'I'm so sorry about the phone call. It's a friend from back in Chicago and she was calling to tell us she's pregnant' Carol explained to her friends.

'That's wonderful, is it her first child?' Erin asked.

Carol nodded. 'Her first yeah, but it's her fiancé's second. He has a daughter that's about thirteen now.'

'Wow, that's a big gap,' Erin commented.

Carol smiled. It was a big age gap between Rachel and the new baby but somehow, with everything that had happened to Mark over the years, his divorce and Susan leaving and then finally finding Elizabeth, it just seemed perfect to Carol that they would now have a baby together.

Just then, Doug shouted for her from the kitchen. Carol excused herself once more and rejoined Doug.

'Elizabeth just wants to say goodbye,' he told her and handed over the phone again.

While Carol and Elizabeth said their goodbyes and promised they would see each other soon, Doug took a lighter from the drawer and started to light the candles on the twins' cakes.

When Carol finally hung up the phone, she gave an excited squeal and hugged one of Doug's arms. 'I am so happy for them. And guess what, they said they might come to visit soon, isn't that great. I really missed them,' she said and Doug smiled.

'I know, me too. Now, let's get this over with because I don't know about everyone else, but I'm starving!' he said.

Carol laughed and took one of the cakes into her hands as Doug picked up the other one and they moved into the sitting room.

Everyone started singing Happy Birthday to the girls, who were grinning up at their parents like they knew exactly what was going on. Doug and Carol blew out the candles for them, everyone cheered and finally, cake was distributed.

But as the afternoon past on, Carol's thoughts kept straying back to her friends and their amazing news and found herself missing Chicago more than she ever had since leaving.

* * *

_**AN:** Sorry about the long wait...busy life and all that. Hope you enjoyed it :)_

_(PS. It's my birthday today! :D Reviews as presents maybe? haha)_


	5. December 18th, 2000

_**Just to let you all know, I'm shunning college work that desperately needs doing just to post this. No matter how much I tell myself to get to work and concentrate, I can't knowing this chapter is ready to go. So, here I am, at percisely 6.36pm, sitting in college trying to force myself to do some work while phoning home every ten minutes to make sure my children aren't starving (their dad...not so good with cooking!) and writing on fanfiction when I should be avoiding it like the plague! So, I hope you enjoy the sacrifice of both time with my children and my education, just to bring you the next chapter of The Missing Years :)**_

_**((EDIT - This chapter was re-posted to correct a mistake pointed out to by DieHardBrendan))**_

**December 18th, 2000**

'Carol, could you start an IV for me?'

Carol turned in the direction the voice came from to find third year resident Anais Jenson walking up behind her, carrying at least ten charts and looking flustered.

'No problem Anais, let me just finish here. Where's the patient?' Carol replied, continuing to dress a young boy's leg wound.

'Thanks Carol, you're a life saver. She's in three, her name is Chloe Richards,' Anais said while passing over the relevant chart.

Carol tucked it under her arm and kept working. The little boy looked up, seemingly interested.

'Are you like the best nurse here?' he asked. He was only seven years old but unbelievably smart and had asked constant questions the whole time Carol had sat with him. Inquisitive and intelligent beyond his years, little Jacob Ryan had sustain his injury, a deep gash to his shin, while playing sports at school. Apparently, while he was as smart as many twelve year olds, sports was not his forte.

'Why do you ask that?' Carol asked, fixing the dressing into place.

Jacob shrugged. 'Well, all the doctors keep asking you to do things for them. That must mean you're better than them,' he reasoned.

Carol smiled. As clever as he was, he was still just an innocent seven year old.

'Well, don't tell the doctors this, but between you and me, I'm way better than them. Us nurses are the real brains of this hospital,' Carol said, lowering her voice as if she was taking Jacob into her confidence.

Jacob smiled and said, 'I won't tell anyone. It can be our little secret.'

Carol smiled back and ruffled his hair. 'Now you take care while in gym class. Stick with the classroom, okay?' she said.

Jacob nodded in agreement, looking quite serious. Carol said her goodbyes and went in search of Chloe Richards.

When she first entered Exam Room Three, she found it empty. She was about to turn and leave when the door opened and a girl, no more than eighteen, entered. She looked exhausted, with large purple bags under her eyes. Her blonde hair hung limp over her shoulders and she was extremely thin and pale.

'Chloe?' Carol asked and the girl nodded.

'Sorry, I just went to the bathroom,' she explained as she lowered herself onto her gurney again.

'No problem. I'm Nurse Hathaway, I'm here to start an IV,' Carol explained.

Chloe rolled her eyes. 'Here we go again. Alright, let's get it over with,' she said with a dramatic sigh.

'Been through this before, huh?' Carol asked as she pulled up a stool beside the gurney.

'Just like a million times in the last eight months. My body is too weak to fight off infection. This is the second time I've had pneumonia,' Chloe explained.

For the first time, Carol actually glanced down at Chloe's chart to see what was wrong with her and her face fell when she saw the diagnosis. Acute Myeloid Leukemia.

Chloe followed Carol's gaze and began telling her story without any prompting.

'I was diagnosed with AML in May. I had been feeling really tired for weeks beforehand and kept finding really unusual bruises but having no idea how I got them. I didn't think it was that serious and I was preparing to sit my SATs so I didn't say anything to my parents. They passed off my fatigue as studying too hard for my exams. Then I passed out in the middle of my last exam and was rushed to hospital where doctors told me and my parents that my kidneys had failed and I would have to be placed on the transplant list and go on dialysis until they found me a kidney. So my parents asked what could have caused kidney failure in a healthy seventeen year old, the doctors ran some tests and that's when they discovered the leukemia. It's a really unusual type of AML called M5 and it causes the overproduction of certain white blood cells, which caused a blood clot, which caused the kidney failure. So now not only have I to have a kidney transplant but also have a bone marrow transplant and I'm starting my third round of chemo next week.'

Throughout Chloe's explanation, Carol had followed her story through every hospital admission and treatment marked on her chart. It wasn't unusual for Carol to come across cancer patients in her job. She worked in an ER. But this story shocked her. Chloe was only seventeen years old. She seemed like a bright young girl, had sat her SAT's, probably planning on going to college. It just seemed so unfair and yet, Chloe seemed so at peace with her diagnosis, like it was just a common cold that would eventually go away. But Leukemia would not just go away.

'Are there no family members eligible for the transplant?' she asked, eventually, realising as she looked over Chloe's chart that the bone marrow transplant was needed as soon as possible.

Chloe's eyes dropped to her lap. 'There's my sister, but nobody knows where she is. She left town over eight years ago, I barely even remember her. My parents are trying to track her down but I think we have more chance of me matching with a stranger than us actually finding Melissa.'

Sympathy welled up inside Carol as she watched Chloe watch her knees. She didn't know why this particular case was affecting her the way it was, but out of nowhere, she felt a burning need to do everything she could so Chloe would be okay.

Without another word to each other, Carol started Chloe's IV. The teenager looked exhausted and as Carol worked, she rested her head back against the pillow and shut he eyes. Just as Carol snapped off her latex gloves and stood, Chloe opened her eyes and looked straight at Carol, finding a connection and holding onto it.

'How long can I last without the transplant?' Chloe asked, bluntly.

'Well, so long as you keep on having dialysis, indefinitely,' Carol told her.

Chloe shook her head. 'I mean the bone marrow transplant. How long can I wait for Melissa?'

Carol sighed. She knew that if they didn't find a match soon, the rest of Chloe's organs would eventually begin to fail. She could withstand the kidney failure as long as she continued on dialysis, but if anything else shut down, she would be left with very few options.

Carol sat back down on the stool next to Chloe. 'I know that right now you feel like hope slipping away, that there's no light at the end of the tunnel, but eventually, a match will be found. And it might be hard but the best thing you can do is exactly what you're doing, staying strong and believe that it will happen for you...because I do.'

Chloe was silent for a long minute before she finally nodded, as though to herself, then smiled and looked up at Carol. 'Thanks Nurse Hathaway.'

Carol smiled and laid a hand upon Chloe's head. 'Call me Carol,' she said.

**Two Weeks Later**

'Vogue, Marie Claire and Elle. That's all they had,' Carol said upon entering Chloe's room.

Chloe was lying in bed watching old re-runs of "The Fresh Prince". She looked over to Carol, smiled and switch off the TV.

'Hey! Nobody turns off Will Smith,' Carol admonished and Chloe laughed.

'This is a story all about how my life got flipped, turned outside down and I'd to take a minute, just sit right there. I'll tell you how I became the prince of a town called Bel-Air,' Chloe sang, sounding very much like a young Will Smith as she did. Then she giggled. 'I don't know the rest,' she admitted.

Carol smiled. 'In west Philadelphia, born and raise. On the playground is where I spent most of my days-'

'Alright, I get it! You like Will Smith. Now can I have my magazines?' Chloe asked, laughing at Carol's attempt to finish the song.

Carol laughed too. 'Suppose,' she said, dumping the magazine down next to her.

'You're a star. I don't think I could survive without reading this month's issue of Vogue,' Chloe said, already flipping toward it's pages.

Over the last two weeks, Carol had visited Chloe every day. They chatted about boys and colleges, Carol told her all about Doug and the twins and work as an ER nurse. They talked about places they wanted to visit, music they liked and covered all the 90's classic kids TV shows like Saved by the Bell, Hangtime, Sweet Valley High and of course, Fresh Prince of Bel-Air. Chloe thought Carol crush on Will Smith was very comical, although Carol could not understand Chloe's crush on Justin Timberlake at all.

Carol also discovered that Chloe was an avid fashion follower and though she hadn't yet had the chance to attend college, she had been guaranteed a place in the Chicago AI for when she was well enough to go. Chloe had designed her own Homecoming dress, though she never got to wear it as she was having chemo at the time. She also made a wedding gown for her cousin and a flower girl dress to match. Chloe had had her mom bring in her portfolio which had secured her place at the AI and Carol had been amazed by the drawings, sketches and pictures of Chloe's wonderful designs.

After becoming so close to Chloe over the last couple of weeks, Carol was desperately awaiting the news of a match for both the bone marrow and kidney transplants as much as the girl's parents were. She had checked the UNOS list countless times and still there was no match for either transplant.

After sitting with Chloe for almost thirty minutes, Carol decided it was time to get back to the ER. She said her goodbyes, promised to be back tomorrow and left.

As she waited for the elevators, however, Carol happened to spot a young woman sitting opposite Chloe's room. She held her head in her hands and her shoulders visible shook as she cried. Concerned, Carol walked away from the elevators and stopped beside the young woman.

'Are you okay?' she asked softly.

The woman raised her head, her expression full of surprised at being directly addressed, and wiped her eyes. Slowly, she nodded her head.

Carol lowered herself onto the chair beside the woman. 'You don't look okay. Is there anything I could do to help?' she offered.

The woman hesitated for another few seconds, then shook her head and before Carol could speak again, she dissolved into tears, shaking as sobs wracked through her body and nothing Carol said or did would calm her. After a few seconds, the woman breath was coming in fast and short gasps and Carol recognised the symptoms of a panic attack.

Eventually, Carol asked a passing nurse to help get her down stairs to the ER. She set her up in one of the exam rooms, started an IV and pushed some valium. She woman's gasping and sobbing eased and after a few minutes, the woman was out like a light. Confused to say the least, Carol left the exam room to write the woman up as a patient and start a chart. She knew she'd get crap for pushing meds without a doctor's orders but she'd deal with that later.

It was about forty minutes later when a med student by the name of Adam Bennett came to tell Carol the woman was awake.

When Carol entered the exam room, the woman was sitting up in the bed, looking confused and shaken, gazing at the IV as if wondering how it and she had gotten there.

'Hi, I'm Nurse Hathaway,' Carol said, taking a seat next to the gurney.

'How did I get here?' the woman asked, looking about the room, still confused.

'I met you up outside the PICU. You had a panic attack so I took you down here to treat you. How are you feeling?'

The woman shook her head as if trying to clear it and remember what had happen. 'Fine.'

'Can you tell me your name?' Carol asked.

There was a few seconds silence as the woman hesitated, then she said, 'Mel Stewart.'

'What's Mel short for?' Carol asked, as has began filling in the name on the woman's chart.

'Melanie' the woman said quickly, causing Carol to look up. Something in the way the woman had said Melanie had set off warning bells for Carol. Lowering the chart, Carol looked Mel straight in the eye, trying to convey that she was here to help and asked, 'Why were you outside the PICU? Were you visiting someone?'

Mel hesitated, opened and closed her mouth several times, then chose not to speak at all.

Carol had a hunch of exactly who this woman might be. She was trying not to get her hopes up and had to force herself to keep her steady as she spoke.

'Were you here to visit Chloe?' Carol asked, her voice as quiet and gentle as she could make it.

Mel's eyes flew open and she looked stricken that Carol had guessed her true identity so easily.

'Mel's not short for Melanie, is it?' Carol asked, her voice still gentle.

Tears welled up in Mel's eyes as she shook her head. 'How did you know I was Chloe's sister?'

Carol smiled slightly. She laid a gentle hand to Mel's arm and said, 'When you've been a nurse as long as I have, you start to understand the patients. Why didn't you go in to see her? Your parents have been looking for you for months.'

Melissa wiped away her tears. 'I've been moving around a lot. My husband's job...you know. I haven't seen Chloe since she was eight years old. Our mom kicked me out when she found out I was pregnant. I got a message about five months ago from an old phone number saying Chloe was really sick and I had to come back to Seattle. I was so angry that mom could just phone up out of the blue and demand I come home after so many years of ignoring my existence. So I just ignored it. Then my dad managed to find a number for Kris, my husband, through work. He said that Chloe was getting worse and that I had to come and he'd explain everything then. It scared me, the way he was talking, like Chloe was actually on her death bed. So I came. But when I saw her through the window today and saw for myself how sick she was...I'm such a horrible sister. Chloe needed me and I just ignored her,' Melissa sobbed.

Carol tightened her grip on Melissa's arm, trying to comfort her. The awful truth was dawning on her. Melissa didn't know what was wrong with Chloe.

And sure enough, once her sobs were under control, Melissa looked up at Carol and asked, 'What's wrong with her?'

Carol took a deep steady breath and began.


	6. Decemeber 29th, 2000

**I am so sorry everyone! I know it's been like a month since I updated but seriously, I really haven't had the time. My life decided to take me on a rollarcoaster ride over the last few weeks and when I finally did sit down to write this chapter it just wasn't right, no matter how many times I re-wrote it...So anyways, finally, here is the next chapter!**

**(Note: Suggestion for Chapter: DieHardBrendan. Written _solely_ by yours truly! This is how _I_ imagine Carol got her new job) **

**December 29th, 2000**

Carol watched the Richards Family reunion from the corridor outside Chloe's room. Melissa sat on the side of Chloe's bed, her arms wrapped around the younger girl's shoulders tightly as both sisters cried. Their mother stood at the top of the bed, one hand resting on Chloe's cheek, the other on Melissa's head, and their father, overwhelmed with relief and renewed hope, stood watching, one hand over his mouth as he silently cried too.

Carol was pleased to know she had played a part in their reunion. She and Melissa had talked for a long time down in the ER. Carol had explained Chloe's condition, her treatment options and more. She answered Melissa's questions, held her while she cried and did not try to force any decision on the young woman, but let her make up her own mind in her own time.

'I'll do it, whatever you need from me, whatever I have to do, I'll do it,' Melissa had said finally, a fierce determination now alive in her face. Carol had nodded, retrieved a wheelchair and brought Melissa back up to Chloe's room.

The elevator doors opened behind her and Carol jumped when, seconds later, a hand landed on her shoulder. She turned to find Doug smiling at her.

'So this is where you've been hiding,' he said.

Suddenly Carol remembered she was supposed to meet Doug before his shift started. Obviously, she had missed it as he was already dressed in his scrubs, stethoscope around his neck and ID pinned to his chest.

'Oh Doug, I'm so sorry, I totally forgot about meeting you. It's just I was with Chloe and-' but Doug cut her off there.

'It's okay, I was talking to Anais and Adam. They told me Chloe's sister turned up. That's really great news,' he said, leaning in to press a kiss to her temple.

Carol just smiled in agreement and looked back into Chloe's room. Melissa was sitting up on the bed now and talking to Chloe as she wiped away tears from her cheeks.

'We'll need her to sign the consent form and then we'll start getting everything ready. She should be ready to go into surgery tomorrow evening so make sure she's MPO as of now.'

Carol turned upon hearing the new voice and found the surgical transplant team conferring near the door to Chloe's room. Without really thinking about what she was doing, Carol stepped forward and addressed the Chief of Surgery, Simon Le Vell, a man whom she had only ever spoken to a handful of time since starting in the hospital.

'Dr Le Vell,' she started, stopping in front of him, 'I'm Carol Hathaway, a nurse in the ER. I've been looking after Chloe since her most recent admittance and I was wondering if I could see her through the surgery?'

Dr Le Vell, the attending, the resident, two interns and a med student, turned to look at her.

No one spoke for several minutes. Doug had come to stand next to Carol and Dr Le Vell and both the attending and resident nodded to him in recognition.

'I'm afraid that won't be possible, Nurse Hathaway. Ms Richards is now a surgical patient and you are needed in the ER,' Dr Le Vell finally answered, gestured to the others around him and entered Chloe's room.

Carol exhaled and her shoulders slumped. She really wanted to be as involved as she could with Chloe's transplant surgery, as she had formed such a close bond with the teenager since meeting her two weeks ago and even felt a similar connection with Melissa.

Doug wrapped one arm around her shoulders, 'Sorry, Carol.'

'It's okay, I'll visit her later. Let's get back to work,' she replied. Both headed for the elevators and returned to the ER.

...**...**

'Nurse Hathaway?'

Carol sat at the Nurse's Station doing some chart work. She had had a very busy afternoon and hadn't been as meticulous as always with her orders and was now taking the time to fill them in. When she heard her name, she looked up and found a young, baby-faced intern looked down at her from across the counter. He reminded her of Carter and she smiled. 'Yes?'

'Dr Le Vell sent me to get you. It's Chloe's Richards. She's locked herself on the bathroom and won't come out unless you come,' he informed her.

Carol dropped her charts and ran for the elevators, the young intern behind her.

...**...**

Dr Le Vell and the others nodded as Carol approached the door of the bathroom and moved back to give her some space. Carol gently knocked on the door and called, 'Chloe, it's Carol.'

No answer.

'Chloe, can you come out please?' Carol asked.

Still no answer.

Carol turned towards some of the doctors around her and noticed that Melissa and her mother stood among them. 'What happened?' she asked.

'We came in to explain the surgical procedure to her. She started to panic and then just lock herself in the bathroom,' the resident present told her.

'She's scared. Carol, she's just scared' Melissa added, her voice barely louder than a whisper. Carol nodded and turned back to the door.

'Chloe, how about you let me in and we can talk? Just you and me,' Carol offered. There was a long silence but, eventually, the lock clicked and the door opened an inch. Carol pushed open the door, stepped inside and locked it behind her again.

Chloe was sitting on the closed toilet seat, her elbows on her knees and her hands gripping her hair at the roots. Carol crossed the bathroom and kneeled before her, brushing away the teenager's blonde hair until she could see her face. She didn't speak, just waited for Chloe to talk.

'I'm scared, Carol,' she admitted after a few silent minutes.

Carol took a breath and said, 'Tell me what's scaring you and I can explain, try make it easier to understand. I want to help.'

Chloe nodded and sat up a little straighter. 'How will it happen? What's first?' she asked and Carol realised she hadn't heard a word of the doctors explanation.

'Well, Melissa has already been tested and she's a good match and she had agreed to both the kidney and bone marrow transplant. So, next you'll be brought to surgery, that's going to be tomorrow, and the kidney transplant will happen first. Melissa will be in surgery the same time as you and as soon as the doctor take out her kidney, it will be brought into your OR and Dr Le Vell will put it into you,' Carol knew she was using very simply language to explain this but figured that was exactly what Chloe needed.

She continued through the whole surgery process, letting Chloe know that she would be given a few days between each of the surgeries. She answered all her questions as honestly as she could, knowing that it was what Chloe needed.

'Could I die? Or could Lissy?' Chloe asked finally and Carol sensed this was what was causing her panic.

'Well...there's always that possibility, but you're young and so is Melissa and the surgeons on your case are the best this city has to offer.'

Chloe didn't seem to like that answer and her eyes welled up with tears again, so Carol pushed on.

'Chloe, I know this is scary. I know how it feels to be in an OR and know that you might not make it out alive-' but Chloe cut across her.

'How can you know that? You haven't got Leukemia and getting closer to dying every day and now your only option of survival is to risk your sister's life too,' she snapped angrily.

Carol was silent for a few seconds as Chloe sniffled and wiped away stray tears. Her own memories flashed to the front of her mind as she thought about Thanksgiving 1999. Not a lot of people knew what had happened to her, except Doug, Mark, Kerry and Dr Coburn. And now she found herself telling Chloe her story, taking the girl into her confidence, much like Chloe had the day they first met.

'I almost died once. It was just over a year ago, when I was giving birth to the twins. Tess was delivered first and everything was fine but then I had to be rushed into surgery for an emergency c-section with Kate. When she was born, she wasn't breathing and my uterus wouldn't stop bleeding. I was so afraid that both me and my baby girl would die. I remember blaming myself, what had I done wrong that my little girl couldn't breathe? I blacked out then and my last thought was that I was definitely going to die. I woke up a few hours later, with both my girls alive and well beside me. So I know it's scary, Chloe, but this is your chance. You could get better, you could go to school next Fall, and so many other things. Your chances of coming through this are very high. I can't promise that everything will be alright, but I'm confident enough to tell you that I believe it will. You just have to believe too.' Carol was almost pleading with her at this stage, knowing that the surgery was her only chance and needing Chloe to realise that too.

They both sat in silence for a long time, the longest yet and Carol hoped that Chloe would see sense.

Eventually, the young girl nodded and looked at Carol, 'Okay, I'll do it.'

Carol smiled and helped Chloe to her feet. When they emerged from the bathroom, Chloe's family and the doctors stood waiting. Carol smiled, 'Good to go,' she told them.

**48 Hours Later - New Years Eve 2000**

'Has she woken up yet?' came a voice from behind Carol and she turned to find Dr Le Vell behind her. She shook her head. She was sitting beside Chloe's bed in recovery, waiting for her to wake up after her kidney transplant. Melissa has woken only an hour before and was doing extremely well.

'Carol, I wonder if I could talk to you for a moment, in the hallway?' the doctor asked.

Carol nodded and followed him outside. He stopped a few feet away from the door and turned to face her.

'I have to say, Carol, I was very impressed with the way you handled this whole procedure. Not just talking to Chloe before when she panicked, but your clear understanding of what would happen, the way you talked her through it and made sure she understood everything that was happening. It's not very often you find that in, forgive me, an ER Nurse' Dr Le Vell said, then coughed as though he was nervous.

'Thank you' Carol said, glad that she was of some help to Chloe during her operation.

'Chloe will be taken in for her bone marrow transplant next week and I'd like you to be there again. Chloe knows and trusts you, it will be easier for her to have you there and I should have realised that the first time round, for which I'm dreadfully sorry' he added.

Carol smiled. 'It's okay. As long as Chloe was okay,' was all Carol said.

Dr Le Vell nodded, though as if to himself rather than Carol. Carol began to turn, to head back to Chloe, when he spoke again.

'One more thing. The rest of the transplant team was very impressed with you also and we have an opening for Transplant Co-ordinator. I know it might not be something you are interested in, for all I know you're happy in the ER, but it's just something to think about, if you want a change,' he said.

Carol's mouth popped open. 'You're offering me a job?' she asked, as if to clarify.

The doctor nodded. 'As I said, we were impressed. If you're at all interested, stop by my office and we can talk, pay and extra privileges and the sort. I know you'll need time to think about it and talk to Dr Ross but if you are interested, call to see me tomorrow morning.'

Carol swallowed, not without difficulty, and nodded. 'I will, thank you Dr Le Vell.'

He nodded, than looked past Carol and into Chloe's room. 'Seems she's waking up,' he said and Carol turned to see that he was right. When she looked back, it was to find the doctor walking away. She smiled to herself and hurried back to Chloe's beside.

* * *

_**AN:** Thanks for reading!_

_Next Chapter: Mark Drama! :P It will be posted by Saturday at the very latest...Promise!_


	7. December 31st, 2000

**December 31st, 2000**

Exhausted, Carol shoved the front door closed with her hip and carried on into the kitchen to relieve herself of the shopping bags she carried. She was glad it was New Years and she had been given three whole days off to spend with Doug and the girls.

'Mommy!' came a little cry and something attacked Carol's knees. She glanced down to see a head of brown curls and though delighted to be welcomed home in such a fashion by her daughter, she was still struggling to recognise which daughter it was. Further confusion was spared when the baby at her knees turned her head to grin up at her mother, showing two tiny white teeth protruding from her bottom gum.

'Hi Kate, mommy missed you and Tess lots,' Carol said as she picked her daughter up and cuddled her tight. Kate gurgled into her neck and Carol smiled fondly.

'And Tess and Kate missed mommy,' came a reply from behind her and Carol turned to find Doug, with a peacefully sleeping Tess on his shoulder, entering the kitchen.

'Bedtime, squirt!' Doug said to the baby in Carol's arms and, as tired as she was, Carol handed over her daughter without hesitation.

'I'll be back,' Doug promised. Quickly, Carol leaned in a kissed a sleeping Tess's cheek and then, juggling both babies, Doug made his way out of the kitchen and up to the girls' nursery.

Carol unpacked the shopping as she waited and when she was finished that and Doug still wasn't back, she switched on the kettle and made herself some tea. Though she preferred coffee, she didn't want to be kept awake all night, especially when it was her turn to get up when one of the twins cried.

Doug came back downstairs to find Carol curled up on the couch in the living room, with a mug in hand and her eyelids drooping. 'Shouldn't we have some wine, celebrate the New Year?' he asked.

Carol just had to look at him for Doug to realise that was a bad idea in her sleepy state.

'So, how did it go?' he asked, going to sit beside her. Carol leaned over and curled into Doug's shoulder and smiled to herself. Though she was tired, her joy of Chloe's successful surgery still burned within her.

'Great, both Chloe and Melissa were awake in recovery by the time I left, both doing extremely well,' Carol informed Doug.

He smiled. 'I'm glad.'

Both lapsed into silence and Carol was content to leave it that way, just enjoying Doug's company.

It was this night that Carol's happiness would vanish, that her world would be turned upside down. Later on she wondered whether her encounter with Chloe and her subsequent involvement with her case was God's way of preparing her for what was to come. And if that's what it was, it didn't work out too well at all.

The phone rang as the couple cuddled on the sofa and Doug reached out to pick it up instantly. Carol, almost asleep on Doug shoulder, didn't hear any of the conversation until Doug poked her and said, 'It's Mark.'

Instantly, Carol was wide awake. She sat up and smiled, for she hadn't spoken to Mark or Elizabeth in a while. Doug put the phone on speaker so Carol could hear too.

'So what makes you call so late? It must be just past midnight in Chicago,' Doug asked, checking his watch to see it was just past ten there.

'Just past one actually,' was Mark's reply. His voice sounded tired, weary, like he hadn't slept in days. He was silent then, as if thinking about something else and Doug and Carol glanced at each other, knowing their friend well enough to be a bit worried by his tone.

'I'm in New York, not Chicago,' Mark then added and paused again, but this time only to allow the inevitable question to be asked.

'Why are you in New York?' Doug and Carol asked at the same time.

Mark let out a heavy sigh. 'I'm sorry I never got to tell you before this. I wanted to but with Elizabeth and the baby, I just couldn't bring myself to ruin it...' he trailed off. Carol leaned closer to the phone, knowing now that something was terribly wrong and all she wanted to do was be there with her friend, be there _for_ him, like he had been for her.

'Mark, what is it?' Carol asked, hesitantly.

With a deep breath, Mark told them, 'I'm in New York for surgery...I have a brain tumour.'

...**...**

Carol sat on the couch where Doug had left her. Her hands still over her open mouth, her eyes still wide with shock, fear, pain. How could this be happening? She was in too much shock to realise she wasn't even crying...maybe she was in too much shock _to_ cry.

Doug was in the kitchen, phone still to his ear as he spoke with Elizabeth. She had explained that he got the diagnosis the same day she found out she was pregnant and hadn't even told her for fear of spoiling the occasion. She told him how every surgeon in Chicago had claimed in was inoperable and that's why they were in New York. They had found a surgeon how was willing and optimistic enough to perform the surgery. He was due at the hospital in the morning.

'We had just got back to our hotel room for the night when he realised he hadn't told you and Carol or Susan. I think he wanted to call Susan first but couldn't do it. And I think he dialled your number a million times before he actually pressed "Call". He's not feeling very optimistic, he's worried that the surgery won't be successful. I guess that's why he decided to phone tonight. He thinks it his last chance.'

Doug listened to Elizabeth in a dazed state. Mark...his oldest colleague...his buddy...his brother. This couldn't be happening to him. What had he done to deserve it? After everything he had gone through with Jen and not being able to see Rachel, and his heartbreak over Susan...he deserved to be happy. And on the same day that something amazing had happened for him and for Elizabeth, this had come along and spoiled it. Mark was one of the most amazing people Doug had ever met. No...he didn't deserve this. Yet, it was happening, to him, to Elizabeth and Rachel, to their unborn child, and now to Doug and Carol.

Would they all lose someone they loved dearly? Doug tried to believe that Mark would be okay but deep down he knew it was impossible to ignore the risks involved.

After speaking to Elizabeth for another few minutes, Doug promised to call in a few days and hung up. He went back into the living room to find Carol exactly how he had left her.

'You okay?' he asked, sitting down beside her and laying a gently hand on her shoulder.

Carol lowered her hands into her lap and swallowed hard. 'I don't know.'

Exhaling, Doug nodded and squeezed her shoulder, knowing exactly how she was feeling.

How could this be happening to Mark?

* * *

_**AN:** Well I promised this would be up before Saturday so I'm super glad I didn't have to break that promise. It's just after midnight here which means it's officially Saturday, so..._

_This chapter is dedicated to my wonderful, amazing, beautiful son Rory who is officially **THREE YEARS OLD** today! April 23, 2008, one of the two most amazing days of my life! Happy Birthday baby, Love from Mommy, Daddy and Noah-J xxx _

_Reviews for this chapter will counts as Birthday presents for my baby! So what are you waiting for? :P_


	8. June 11th, 2001

_**Hey everyone! Sorry for the long wait! I know its been ages but I promise I'll do my best not to take so long again :)**_

_**This chapter is dedicated to my wonderfully amazing little cousin Jay. You've overcome so much and we are all so proud of you :)**_

**June 11th, 2001**

Carol leaned heavily on the breakfast bar, her fingers tapping endlessly against the granite top, as she stared out the kitchen window into the driveway.

Nothing.

With a frustrated sigh, she pushed away from the bar and crossed the kitchen to the double doors to check on the twins. They were out playing in the garden with Luke as Doug and Tom worked on the boat down at the deck. That boat with Doug's new favourite toy. He had bought it a few weeks ago, old, rusty and with no engine, and now he and Tom were determined to fix it up. Smiling, Carol crossed the kitchen again to check on lunch.

Twenty minutes later, footsteps on the wooden porch signalled the arrival of Erin. She entered the kitchen to find Carol serving up lunch, slowly, as she gazed out the window again. Shaking her head, Erin went to Carol's side and took the food from her, startling Carol.

'Patience is a virtue,' Erin told her, smiling.

Carol smiled too. 'I know but it's driving me mad! And I've never been a very patient person,' she told her friend. Erin laughed.

'Oh, I know. Now, they will be here soon so let's make sure lunch is ready, okay?' the brunette said and Carol nodded, both turning their attention back to the food.

Once the woman had set the food down on the table on the back porch, they called the men and children. The kids squealed as Doug and Tom left the deck and swooped them up into their arms, running with them back to the house.

'Wow, this looks good!' Tom observed greedily.

'No one touches the food until they arrive, okay?' Carol said in her most stern mother voice and Doug and Tom's shoulders sagged and they nodded.

Erin laughed. 'You two are worse than the kids!'

'Mommy! A car!' Kate screamed right then and, no doubt, the undeniable sound of tyres on gravel could be heard around the side of the house.

Carol gave an excited squeal as she scooped Tess up into her arms and ran for the front door, Doug and Kate right behind them. Reaching the front door, Carol threw it open with her free hand and a huge grin spread across her face.

A family were exiting the car, two parents, a teenage girl and, most importantly, a car seat holding a tiny baby.

Carol bounced out the door and into the arms of the man, pressing Tess between them as they hugged.

'I'm so glad you're finally here!' she nearly screamed at her oldest friend.

Mark laughed. 'Me too. That drive was endless,' he released Carol as Doug approached and the two men hugged, yet again with a twin caught between them.

'Good to see you, buddy,' Doug told him, slapping his friend's shoulder. Mark smiled happily. They both turned to see Carol and Elizabeth locked together, the car seat now on in a grumpy looking Rachel's hands as she leaned against the side of the car.

When the woman broke apart, Carol squealed, 'Well, let me see her, let me see her!'

Elizabeth grinned and took the car seat back from Rachel and Carol leaned down to look at the tiny baby wrapped up in an abundance of pink blankets. Doug came to stand beside Carol to see the baby too and he smiled.

'She's beautiful,' Carol said in an awed whisper, grinning up at her friends.

'Doug, Carol, meet Ella Isabelle Greene,' Elizabeth said, joy and pride colouring her tone.

Doug stood up straight and addressed the moody teenager that had, so far, said nothing. 'Hey Rach.'

'Hey Doug,' Rachel said, pushing away from the car to give him a one armed hug, smiling ever so slightly as she did so. She looked up at Kate, still in Doug's arms and said, 'They've gotten so big.'

'Well, it has been a while,' Doug said, laughing.

'Too long, I think,' Elizabeth added and Carol agreed. Then she clapped her hands excitedly and said, 'Lunch is ready and our neighbours are out back too, come on out and meet them.'

The two families left the driveway and, passing through the house, emerged out on the porch again. Erin and Tom stood up as they arrived, Tom with half a sandwich sticking out his mouth.

Carol laughed. 'Guys, this is Erin and Tom and their son Luke. They live next door. And this is Mark, Elizabeth, Rachel and beautiful baby Ella,' she introduced as everyone shook hands.

'Right, this meal has been waiting long enough to be eaten. Let's dig in,' Doug said and everyone converge on the table.

...**...**

'Hey, squirt! Careful, you know Tess doesn't like the water!' Doug shouted down the garden to his daughter. Rachel and the twins were playing at the water's edge, Kate splashing about fearlessly.

Doug turned back to his wife and friends. Erin and Tom had left to put Luke to bed. Lunch had lasted all through the afternoon as the friends caught up and well into the evening as the kids began to play in the garden and the wine had appeared on the table for the adults.

'I'm really sorry we missed the wedding! Erin and Tom had agreed to mind the girls and everything, we were all set to come! And then our flight was cancelled because of the storm!' Carol explained.

Mark smiled. 'Carol, don't worry about it. Rach didn't even make it because of the storm. I almost didn't make it because of the storm!' he laughed.

'Among other things,' Elizabeth corrected as she sat feeding Ella.

'Well, yeah,' Mark admitted and everyone laughed. Absentmindedly, he ran a hand over his head.

The laughed ceased almost immediately as all eyes landed on his scar running from ear to ear.

So far, they had all avoided the elephant in the room, trying to concentrate on the happier things like their wedding and Ella being born, but inevitably, the time had come to talk about it.

Before anyone could speak, however, Mark said, 'I know...But I'm okay now. Honestly. Just...let's not talk about it right now.' Elizabeth reached out and took his hand, giving it a quick squeeze. He smiled in a bittersweet kind of way.

'I should have been there,' Carol said in almost a whisper. 'Mark, you were there for me when I needed you and then when you needed me, I was hundreds of miles away.' This was something that had Carol feeling guilty for the last five, almost six, months since they had found out about Mark's tumour.

Mark leaned over to take Carol's hand in his. 'Carol, don't feel guilty. You were here and you were happy with Doug and the girls. And I was happy for you. I was fine...I am fine. The surgery was successful and I've lived to be married and watch my daughter be born. That's two things I was sure I'm going to miss. Trust me, I'm happier now than I've been in a long, long time. That part of my life is over. Let's just forget about it and move on.'

Brushing away some sudden tears, Carol nodded.

'We're glad you're here,' Doug said with a slight smile and they all heard the double meaning. They were glad Mark was sitting there with them in that moment, but they were also glad Mark was able to be sitting there with them.


	9. August 30th, 2001

_**I feel I should spoil you with two chapters seeing as it's been so long :) I absolutely LOVED writing this chapter, easily done as I worry about these things on an (almost) daily basis! Hope you like it :)**_

_**This chaper is dedicated to RiTa-MD! Father/daughter time especially pour toi! :D**_

**August 30th, 2001**

'Doug, Kate's running a fever. I don't think we should send her to day care today,' Carol called.

Doug looked up from his morning newspaper and coffee. His stool scraped the floor as he pushed it back and stood up, making his way out of the kitchen and up to his daughters' bedroom. Tess was sitting silently on her new starter bed, watching as Carol bent over Kate, taking her temperature.

Doug ruffled Tess's curls before kneeling down next to Carol and looking at his sickly daughter. She was flushed in the cheeks and her eyes still sleepy, even though Kate was always very alert in the mornings.

'You feeling sick, squirt?' Doug asked, placing a hand on her tummy and rubbing it in soothing circles.

Kate's bottom lip pouted out and she nodded. Her expression nearly broke Doug's heart and suddenly, he felt quite panicky.

Sure he was a paediatrician, he saw sick kids all the time, but this was his kid. He had never been on the parent end of this situation. He had always been the confident doctor telling the parents they had nothing to worry about. And he had never understood why the parents worried anyway, regardless of what he said to reassure them. Didn't they trust his judgement?

But now he understood. Now he knew why the parents worried anyway. Because they were parents. It was part of their job description. And even though he was a paediatrician, he couldn't help himself from blurting out, 'Should we bring her to a doctor?'

Carol looked around at him incredulously until he realised what he had just said.

'Right, yeah, I'm the doctor. But you're right, we shouldn't send her to day care. I'll take a personal day and stay at home with her,' Doug volunteered.

'Are you sure, I'll take the day if you have to go to work,' Carol offered.

'No, you have that Maddens case to sort. They need you there. I'll stay here,' Doug assured her.

Just then they heard Erin shouting, 'Doug!', from downstairs and Doug stood up. 'Back in a sec, squirt,' he told Kate before leaving the room.

When he arrived downstairs in the kitchen, he found Erin with a pyjama clad Luke on her hip, angry red spots covering his face.

'Doug, I'm sorry to come over so early but could you take a look at Luke? He was running a fever all night and now he has this rash,' Erin explained, sounding slightly panicky.

'Sure, it's no problem. Come here, bud, let's have a look,' Doug said and Luke stretched his arms out towards him. Doug placed the toddler up on the counter top and took out the spare thermometer from the First Aid cabinet. He popped on a new cap, and placed it in Luke's ear. After waiting for the beep, Doug looked at the small display to see that Luke certainly had a temperature, and a very high one at that. Taking a glass from the sink, Doug rolled it over the odd red marks on the boy's arms, then placed the glass back in the sink.

'You feel sick anywhere else, bud?' Doug asked Luke. Luke nodded and pointed to his throat.

'Can you say "ahh" for me?' Doug asked and the toddler complied. Doug looked down the boy's throat to see it was inflamed and red, also.

'So what do you think is wrong with him?' Erin asked, still panicked. Having just experienced the same panic for the first time, Doug found he was having an easier time dealing with a parent than he normally would have.

He sighed. 'Well, it's nothing to worry about, Erin. Just a simple case of the chicken pox, which explains why Kate isn't well either,' he said, then called loudly, 'Carol bring Tess down here!'

Carol arrived a minute later with Tess in her arms. 'What wrong? Morning Erin,' she added to their neighbour.

'Luke has the chicken pox and I think Kate caught it,' he explained. Comprehension dawned on Carol's face.

'What should we do about Tess? They say it's better to get it out of the way and if one child gets it, you should let the other catch it and be over with it in one go,' Carol said.

Doug nodded. 'I know, but this is going to get worse before it gets better and I think trying to deal with both of them with chicken pox would be too chaotic. Tess will pick it up eventually, with being in day care with so many other kids. Let's just deal with Kate now and deal with Tess whenever she gets it,' Doug suggested. Truthfully, he just didn't want to have to watch both his daughters suffer at the same time, one was already too much.

'Okay then, well I'll drop Tess off at day care then and you'll stay with Kate?' Carol asked.

'Yeah, sure. Erin could you just watch Kate for a while so I can go to the drug store and get something for her and Luke?' Doug asked.

'Yeah, no problem. Thanks Doug' Erin replied, picking Luke up and heading for the girls' room.

...**...**

A soft whimpering woke Doug later that day. He sat up and rubbed his hands over his face before his eyes dropped down to his daughter, lying curled up in her bed. He rose from the rocker and went to the side of the bed, where he dropped down onto the floor and took one of Kate's dimpled hands.

Red spots had begun to pop out on her skin too and had started to itch. Doug had already rubbed some ointment all over her but it didn't stop the toddler's pain and she had been sobbing on and off all day.

Watching his daughter in pain had brought on a lot of thoughts for Doug. Here he was, a paediatrician and he couldn't even help his own sick daughter. It left him feeling guilty and as if he had failed somehow. And his thoughts didn't stop there. What more wouldn't he be able to prevent? Fathers are supposed to protect their children, not sit there and watch them in pain. And he knew this wouldn't be the last time he did it.

Standing up, Doug scooped Kate into his arms and returned to the rocker by the window, cradling her in his arms. Looking out into the gardens and across the waters, Doug's thoughts continued.

She could fall over in the street and scrape her knee. She could be pushed around by another child at school. She could get sick, something worse than chicken pox. She could fight with her friends. And the worst of all...A boy could break her heart.

He knew he couldn't control these things and they would happen as sure as the rain would fall, but it killed him inside regardless. He was powerless to what this world could bring upon his daughters, to the pain, anger and hurt they would certainly suffer throughout their lives.

It was then that he realised that he himself had already inflicted upon his daughters something that no father should. He had forced them to live without him. He had already set them down the path of hurt and suffering, without intending to or even realising it. And it was then that he reminded himself of the promise he had made them when they first arrived here. He would never stop trying to make it up to them.

And all he could do was try his best and hope and pray that regardless of what else they might suffer, his daughters would turn out to be beautiful, talented, amazing people.

And so he focused on the good times ahead of him. Watching his girls sweep down the street on their bikes, training wheels finally left behind. Gazing on as they enter school for the first time and begin to make new friends. Staring through his tears as they graduate high school and make plans for college. Walking each of them down the aisle as they prepare to enter married life. And holding them close and whispering how proud he was when they eventually blessed him with grandchildren.

...**...**

'Doug...'

With a gently shake, Doug woke and raised his eyes to look at Carol.

'How's she doing?' Carol asked, nodding at the toddler still cradled in his arms.

'She'll be okay,' Doug replied, leaning down a press a kiss on the small, spotted head of his daughter. Carol gently rubbed one finger against Kate's flushed cheek and smiled at Doug.

He took her hand in his and squeezed it.

Somehow, even after the bad choices Doug had made in life, he had been blessed to have his girls and even more blessed to have Carol at his side to share in his joy. This, being with her and being a father, was what he was meant to do with his life, this was his calling. Not medicine but his family.

'Let's get married,' he whispered.

Carol's mouth fell open with a pop. They had never discussed getting married before.

'I want us to be a proper family. I want you to be Mrs Ross and for us all to be together...forever,' Doug told her truthfully.

It took several long seconds, but eventually, Carol smiled and nodded.


	10. March 1st, 2002

**Ok I'm really sorry this has taken this long, I really didn't think it would! I don't have any real excuse other than real life must come first, which I hope you understand. But I recently lost my job (damn recession!) so I'm going to have bunches of time to write now, especially since the new school term starts this week! **

**So, I have three dedications for this chapter. **

**One - To RiTa-MD! You gave me that extra push to finally get this chapter finished so merci! :P**

**Two - To my little boy, Noah, who is starting "big" school tomorrow! I'm feeling very sad about it and will probably cry more than he will. They really do grow up WAY too fast!**

**Three - To my baby boy, Rory, who is starting pre-school on Wednesday! Can't believe I'm losing both my boys now...Seriously, why can't they be babies again! But anyway, good luck to both my lovely boys, you'll have a ball, even if your mommy won't without you :P Love you both xxx**

**And now, on to the new chapter (finally!)**

* * *

**March 1st, 2002**

'Carol...' a soft voice murmured into the darkness of the pre dawn May morning.

Carol shifted in her sleep but did not wake.

The voice tried again, this time leaning closer so his breath tingled the sleeping woman's cheek. This time, Carol's eyes fluttered open, sleepily. But once she saw her almost-husband leaning over her, her face broke into a wide smile.

'Good morning,' Doug whispered, as she moved to snuggled into his chest.

'Morning,' Carol sighed, now content that she was in her favourite place in the world, wrapped in Doug's arms.

The couple fell silent as they listened to the rest of the world begin to wake. The birds began chirping and the sun was finally peeking over the horizon and through their window, bringing not only a new day, but the first day of Spring and the last day of their unmarried lives. This time tomorrow, Carol would be surrounded by her friends and family while Doug would be next door at the Hendersons', preparing for their wedding day.

But today was just as special. Mark, Elizabeth, Rachel and Ella would be arriving. It was also Carol's last dress fitting, and then their rehearsal dinner would take place.

An hour later, small sounds of talk and laughter could be heard from the next room, announcing that the twins were now awake. Knowing that their quiet time was now severely limited, Carol turned her head upwards to look at Doug.

'Excited?' she questioned.

Doug smiled and nodded. 'I can't wait' he assured her.

'Mommy! Kate pulled my hair!' came a cry from Tess and with that, the day had finally begun.

...**...**

'Wow, Carol! You look amazing!' Erin cried as Carol stood in front of her, wearing her perfectly fitted wedding gown.

Carol felt amazing too. It was not the first time she had prepared for her wedding, but the first time she had felt complete serenity while doing it. There were no niggling thoughts about marrying the wrong man, no worries that the man she did really love might somehow ruin her big day, and definitely no dread that this was all she would have for the rest of her life. That's what marrying Tag was all about.

This time, she was marrying the right man and she knew that without any doubt. She didn't feel nervous, she didn't feel worried. All she felt was this glorious happiness and burning desire to finally become Mrs Ross.

'You do look stunning, Carol,' her younger sister Jenna admired.

Turning towards the mirror again, Carol took in her reflection and smiled. Her dress had been specially made for her, the designer being the up-and-coming designer cousin of Erin. It was a quite simple, strapless dress. It clung to Carol's curves until just under her waist line where it fanned out into a beautiful full skirt. The back held three satin roses from where a simple train started. Carol loved it.

Carol didn't realise she had tears in her eyes until Erin approached her with a tissue.

'No tears,' the brunette warned.

Carol nodded and gave a shaky laugh. 'I just can't believe that in less that twenty-four hours, I'll finally be married.'

'Well, I say it's about time! Haven't you been in love with Doug since forever!' Jenna said, coming to her sister's side.

Carol gave a watery smile. 'Yeah, I have.'

...**...**

'I'm home!' Carol shouted, coming through the front door. Within seconds her knees buckled as her daughters collided with them.

'Hey Princess, hey Squirt!' Carol said, bending to kiss both their heads. Though she had disapproved of Doug's nicknames for the girls, she found herself using them much more than she liked recently. Though she did have to admit that the names suited them. Tess was every meaning of the word princess, with being both treated as one and acting like one. And though Kate too was treated as a princess, her much more active and already tom-boyish personality didn't suit the nickname, and so she was affectionately called Squirt.

'Where's daddy?' Carol asked.

'On telly-fone!' Tess announced.

'Wid Uncle Mark!' Kate added.

Curious, since the Greene family should be on a plane by now, Carol dropped her bag and followed the sound of Doug's voice out onto the back porch, the twins toddling along behind her.

'No, no, we understand. Please don't worry about it,' Doug was saying.

Carol sat down opposite him, pulled Tess onto her lap and mouthed, 'Mark?'

Doug shook his head and mouthed back, 'Elizabeth.'

'Don't worry, I'll explain to Carol. And we'll talk to you soon,' Doug said into the phone and after a few more pleasantries were past, he hung up.

'What's wrong?' Carol asked immediately.

Doug sighed and rubbed a hand over his head. 'Mark, Elizabeth and the girls can't make it. Elizabeth said Ella still isn't strong enough and that they are still having problems with Rachel...'

Carol nodded but remained silent, thinking about the phone call they received just three months ago. Nine month old Ella had found ecstasy pills in Rachel's room and swallowed them, causing her to overdose and be rushed into hospital, unsure of whether she would be okay or not. The baby had survived but not without repercussions for the entire family.

'Do you think everything is okay? I mean, every time we've talked since Ella's overdose, Mark and Elizabeth never seem to be together, it seems to be just Mark at the house and never Elizabeth. I'm worried for them, Doug,' Carol confessed.

'I know, I am too but I'm sure if something was seriously wrong they would let us know. I'm sorry they won't be here tomorrow but we just have to accept what Elizabeth says. We'll go visit after the honeymoon, okay,' Doug promised.

Carol nodded, still worrying about her friends. Something wasn't right and it wasn't like Mark to not tell them and not knowing was making Carol think it could be worse than it actually was. And their excuse for not coming tomorrow just didn't seem sound. They both had been so excited when Carol called to say that she and Doug were getting married and though she knew things with Ella had been very touch and go, Mark had assured them only a little over a week ago that things were fine and that they wouldn't miss the wedding.

But Doug was right, she just had to accept what Elizabeth had said. And they would go back to Chicago immediately after the honeymoon.

But her best friends presence would be sorely missed on the greatest day of her life.


	11. March 2nd, 2002

**This chapter is dedicated to the most loyal, loving, funny and kind hearted man I've ever known. Forever in our hearts Nicky...we will never forget...**

* * *

**March 2nd, 2002**

'Momma! Momma! Wedding Day!' was the scream that awoke Carol the following morning. Immediately after she was pounced on by Kate, who was wearing nothing but her pyjama bottoms, her brown curls wild with excitement.

'I know, Squirt!' Carol replied with a laugh, hugging the toddler to her.

'Mommy! Pretty dress time!' was what Tess exclaimed as she followed her sister into the bedroom. At the side of the bed, she extended her arms in a silent demand to be lifted onto the bed.

Carol reached over and pulled Tess up beside her. Though she missed Doug's presence upon wakening, having her girls either side of her now helped immensely.

'Carol, quick! Out of bed! There's so much to do!' Carol's mother fussed, entering her daughter's room behind her granddaughters.

'Mom, there's loads of time, just calm down,' Carol said, though she moved out from between the twins and got out of bed. Her dress hanging on the closet door at the other side of the room caught her eye and she smiled. _Only a few more hours_ she thought.

Down in the kitchen, there was a celebratory atmosphere as Erin, Jenna and Carol's older sister Maggie had already opened the champagne. When Carol entered the room, Erin and Jenna squealed and handed her a glass full of the bubbly stuff.

'You guys are excited,' Carol said with a laugh.

'Aren't you? Carol, it's your wedding day!' Erin exclaimed, picking up Tess who had just arrived in the kitchen. She tickled the toddler's stomach until Tess was giggling with glee and then started singing, 'Mommy's getting married!' to which Tess gladly joined in.

'Oh she's just used to it, that's all. Second time you've done this, right little sis!' Maggie added to the conversation. She only seemed untouched by the electric atmosphere that morning. Erin looked up in curiosity at Maggie's comment.

'Oh, you're just sore because you're still not married and you're little sister is doing it before you!' Jenna told her, laughing.

Just then, Kate entered the kitchen at high speed, still wearing only pyjama bottoms and heading straight for the double doors leading out to the garden. 'Daddy's outside!' she screamed.

She had just reached the doors when Jenna grabbed her back and swung her upwards. 'You daddy can't see your mommy yet, Mischief, so he'll just have to stay out there!' she told her niece. Kate pouted, but then the door beside her opened and three year old Luke entered and she immediately forgot about her father and ran off to play.

'Okay, breakfast's ready!' Helen announced and they all sat down to eat.

...**...**

'Deep breath,' Erin told the nervous bride.

They were outside the church now, and Carol felt like a herd of elephants were trampling through her stomach, let alone butterflies. She nodded to tell Erin she heard her advice because she didn't think she should open her mouth right then.

She never guessed she'd be this nervous and honestly couldn't understand why. She couldn't wait to officially be married to Doug, she was just being silly.

_Come on Carol, pull yourself together! All your family and friends are in there waiting and your just standing here being stupid!_ she told herself.

With one more deep breath, she turned to Erin. 'I'm ready,' she said.

Erin grinned and stuck her head in the door to pass along the message. Soon enough, music struck up within the church and Jenna was directing Tess, Kate and Luke to head off up the aisle. Carol watched the cute trio, Tess and Kate in matching white satin dresses, their curly hair pinned up and little flower baskets in their hands. Luke as wearing a tiny tuxedo, which matched Doug and Tom's, his blonde hair nicely spiked and a huge smile on his face.

A few seconds after they started walking, Jenna followed, then Maggie, then Erin, leaving just Carol and Helen in the little porch.

'Carol, I want to say something,' Helen said, unexpectedly, then hurried on. 'I know I didn't approve of Doug when you first came here. Well, I didn't really approve of him before then either but since I've got here, I've seen how wonderful he is with the girls and with you and how happy he makes you. I'm so happy for you now, and for the girls, and even for Doug. And I'm so proud of you.'

Carol smiled at her mom. 'Thank you for saying that. It means a lot. And thank you for giving me away today. Love you, mom' she replied, wrapping her arms around her mother's shoulders.

When the women broke apart, both had tears in their eyes. 'Right, well, let's get you up there,' Helen said rather huskily. Carol smiled, took her mom's hand and headed up the aisle towards the love of her life.

...**...**

'So...' Doug said quietly, as he danced Carol around the large marquee that was venue to their wedding reception.

Carol raised her head from his shoulder to look up at him and replied, 'So what?'

'How does it feel to be Mrs Ross?'

Carol beamed with happiness in response to her new name and Doug took that to be his answer.

'Yeah, I'm pretty psyched too, to finally have all four of us with the same surname,' he said, as Carol replaced her head on his shoulder. She giggled slightly, with elicited a chuckle from Doug.

Many couples were dancing around them now. Among them were Tom and Erin, Jenna and Adam, the young med-student from the hospital, who looked slightly spellbound by Jenna's beauty and his own luck to have gotten the chance to dance with her, and Maggie and her long-term boyfriend Rick, who seemed to be receiving yet another lecture from the oldest Hathaway. But the one couple that stood out most, but only through their absence, was Mark and Elizabeth.

Carol had tried not to worry about them, but had failed badly. The same niggling thought just wouldn't go away, that there was more to their non-attendance than Elizabeth had told them. And, of course, the mystery of Elizabeth's absence from the house whenever they called.

'Carol, stop...' Doug said, firmly but quietly, never halting their dancing.

'Stop what?' Carol questioned, looking up at him once again.

'You're driving yourself mad! Mark and Elizabeth have been through, and are going through, a rough time. Things are bound to be a little weird. Imagine yourself in their shoes, Ella almost died. That's going to have a big effect on all of them... Just stop worrying yourself needlessly. I'm sure that if we could help, we would've already been asked. Both Mark and Elizabeth know that we are here for them, okay?'

Carol was silent as she considered what Doug has said, then slowly nodded. 'Okay, I guess you're right.'

Doug smiled. 'I always am.'

Carol scoffed, loudly. 'Oh I don't think so,' she teased, a more light-heart atmosphere settling over them.

And for the rest of the night, Mark and Elizabeth were pushed to the back of their minds.


	12. April 5th, 2002

**April 5th, 2002**

'Kate! Careful!' Carol shouted for what felt like the thousandth time. She and Doug were lying on sun loungers, as close to the kids' pool as they could get, while the twins splashed playful at the edge. Her heart had been firmly placed in her throat throughout the entire holiday as Kate's daring personality shone more prominently than it ever had at home.

Doug and Carol had decided to bring the twins with them on their honeymoon, as the thought of leaving them behind for three entire weeks was too hard to consider. And though it seriously limited the amount of alone time newly-weds should get to experience while on honeymoon, Carol knew they had made the right decision. For both girls were enjoying themselves so much, it made it all worthwhile. Already, at just two and half years old, Kate's great love of anything dangerous, including repeatedly jumping into the pool, had meant she hadn't stopped laughing the entire time. Tess too was enjoying herself as she got to wear all her rarely-worn summer dresses and she got to play at the resort's mini-farm all day long. Tess loved animals and, obviously, they seemed to love her too.

The intense sun of Barbados had changed both girls appearance also. Chestnut-golden strands had appeared in their dark brown hair, and both had severe tan lines on their arms, legs and the back of their necks. Honestly, Carol thought they could pass as Hispanic children and thanked the high heaven they had both inherited their dad's skin complexion rather than her own pale, freckled and un-tan-able one.

Almost five weeks had passed since the wedding, almost three of those spent in Barbados. They had to postpone their departure from Seattle to two weeks after the wedding as Tess had developed an ear infection which meant flying would be horrific on the toddler.

Now, however, they were coming to the end of their stay in Barbados, just two more days, and although she had had an amazing time, Carol was eager to be home again. For the real reason Mark and Elizabeth had not come to the wedding was revealed with a phone call to Haleh back in Chicago, days after the wedding.

Mark and Elizabeth had separated.

It transpired that after Ella's accident, Elizabeth had demanded that Rachel be put out of the house or she would not return there with Ella. Mark had been unable to put Rachel out, knowing that the teenager was having severe problems and knew he had to try and help her, which he could not do if she returned to her mother's. Therefore, Elizabeth and Ella did not return to the house after Ella was discharged and were now living in a hotel.

Carol's heart ached for her friends. Especially for Mark, who had been there for her through her worst times and who really deserved the happiness he had had when he had found love with Elizabeth. She was eager to return to Seattle, just to jump on another plane and fly straight to Chicago, to do whatever she could to help.

...**...**

'How much longer, mommy?' Kate asked, not even looking up from her colouring book.

'About an hour, Squirt,' Carol replied.

'And then I can see Luke?' was the toddler's next question.

'Yes, then you can see Luke. He'll be thrilled you guys are home.'

'I miss ba-bar-dos!' Tess piped up. Doug chuckled from his seat next to Carol. 'Me too, Princess.' Tess smiled at him.

When both girls were sufficiently distracted by their colouring books, Carol turned to Doug.

'How soon do you reckon we can get to Chicago?' she asked.

Doug frowned. They had already had this argument a hundred times. Doug did not think flying to Chicago and bursting in on Mark and Elizabeth would help. He thought it would be much better to call them and see what exactly was going on and then just offer to come there, an offer he was sure Mark would turn down. Carol, however, took a very different view and Doug couldn't honestly blame her. Mark had helped her through a lot and Doug knew Carol felt as if she was indebted to him and she would not rest until they were back in Chicago.

'Well, do you want to bring the twins? How long are we going for? Do you have the holiday hours left from work? Have you even thought about all of this?' Doug asked.

Carol narrowed her eyes. 'I don't care, Doug. Work can wait and we'll be there for as long as we're needed and of course we're bringing the twins. We just _have_ to get there!'

Doug sighed. 'Alright,' he conceded.

...**...**

'Kate! Tess!' Luke cried through the glass doors, his little face lit up in excitement. Carol smiled and went to let him in and the three friends immediately hugged and ran off to play in the garden. Erin entered the kitchen and smiled awkwardly at Carol and offered a quick, 'Welcome home.'

Carol knew it immediately, she knew something was wrong, seriously wrong. 'What happened?' she asked.

Erin's smiled faded, not even attempting to pretend things were alright. 'You had a phone call yesterday. The machine picked it up but when I called over to check the house and water the plants, I saw you had a message. I listened to it in case it was something important...Carol, I think you should call someone in Chicago,' Erin explained.

Carol's heart dropped into her stomach somewhere as she ran for the phone, shouting at Doug to come downstairs from where he was unpacking.

Reaching the phone, she jabbed the message button and, instantly, the room was filled with a very familiar voice.

'_Doug, Carol...it's Susan, are you there? ... Oh crap, the honeymoon... Well, I don't know how to say this..umm...Can you just call me as soon as you get back? It's important...'_

Doug had arrived in the room in time to hear the message and looked questioningly at Carol.

Her hands had begun to shake and sweat. She knew that something awful had happened, she could tell by just listening to her friend's voice. Carol had heard the tears, heard how she stumbled over her words.

Grabbing the phone, she dialled Susan's number and waited for an answer. Doug stood a few feet away, looking as worried as Carol felt and Erin stood in the doorway, still, looking afraid.

'Hello?' a wary voice answered, eventually.

'Susan?' Carol asked.

There was a slight pause and then Susan broke down into tears.

'Oh, Carol!...It's Mark...'

* * *

_I know it's a little on the short side this time, but it would have gone on forever if I didn't stop here. Hopefully, you won't be left in suspense for too long..._


	13. April 19th, 2002

_**AN:** Hi, remember me? I wouldn't be surprised if you didn't, since it's been 6 months since this was updated :/ Yikes, that's a long time. So anyway, you'll be glad to know, I'm sure, that this story seems back on track. I'm definitely not making any promises, but fingers crossed this means my writers block is gone :D *waves goodbye eagerly* And I really hope this doesn't disappoint :/_

_And to Rita and DieHardBrendan, my most faithful readers, I hope you like it :) I tried to make it a little longer than usual to make up for my absence, though it probably doesn't make up for it :/ _

_Dedicated to Rory - Happy Birthday baby! Four years old already! Love Mommy, Daddy and Noah-J xxx  
_

* * *

Doug was worried.

Two weeks had passed since they arrived home from their honeymoon. Two weeks since they had spoken to Susan. Two weeks since they received the news that had changed everything.

The conversation haunted Doug, still. The words rang in his ears during the few silent moments of the day, they replayed in his head while he tried to talk to Carol, they filled his dreams every night, turning them to bone chilling nightmares.

And each time, the sound of devastation in Susan's voice and the look of horror in Carol's eyes made Doug want to fall down right where he stood and cry.

"_Oh, Carol!...It's Mark..." Susan sobbed._

"_What about Mark?" Carol asked, as Doug came closer to listen. _

"_I didn't know what to do, Carol! He told me not to tell anyone...not even Elizabeth! And then...and then it was your wedding and things were even worse and he hated lying to you, I swear he did. And then...and then..." Susan broke off, unable to go on. Her sobs rang in Doug's ears and his mind was in overdrive. _What had happened?

"_I forgot you guys were away...and now you have to hear this just when your home!" Susan finally continued, hiccupping through her words. _

"_Susan...what happened?" Carol asked, her voice steady but guarded, bracing herself. Doug automatically slipped his arm around her waist. _

"_He's gone, Carol..."_

"_Gone where? Susan, you're not making any sense!" Doug said, speaking for the first time. _

"_His tumour...it came back. He's...Mark's dead..."_

Eight words that changed everything. Only two words that meant something.

Tumour.

Dead.

Mark was gone and he wasn't coming back.

Carol had been silent for several long moments until she had let out a yelp like a wounded animal and fallen, right into Erin's arms that had come rushing forward to catch her.

Through tears and memories, Doug had taken over the conversation with Susan, asking more questions and making plans to fly to Chicago immediately. The funeral was to take place in two days time and Doug needed to be there.

After he hung up the phone, neither he nor Carol spoke, just wrapped themselves around each other and cried. Erin excused herself and brought the twins with her, leaving the couple to grieve.

Carol had cried herself to sleep. Doug hadn't slept at all.

And now two weeks had passed. And Doug was worried.

They had not gone to Chicago, they had missed the funeral and they hadn't spoken of Mark since.

Now, Doug was in work, watching Carol from across the ER, watching her move with speed and a fierce scowl of determination on her face. Even though it had been over a year since Carol had begun her work as a Transplant Co-ordinator, since they arrived home, since the _news_, Carol had taken up extra nursing shifts too. She worked relentlessly, never smiling, never laughing, just getting things done and _being._

And Doug didn't need a psychiatrist to know what was happening.

Carol was grieving and still firmly placed in the Denial stage.

Doug was grieving too, but he had passed denial before he even got off the phone with Susan. Then his anger had come. While he held an emotionally exhausted Carol that night, he had begun to bargain with a god he did not even believe in, offering up anything in return for his best friend. By morning he had sunk into depression.

But Carol had woken the morning after acting as though nothing had happened. She asked for the twins, went to get them from Erin and Tom's, and went about her daily routine as if nothing was wrong. Confused, Doug had tried to talk to her, but she had batted away every attempt he had made to mention Mark and what had happened.

He heard her cry at night, but other than that, Carol was refusing point blank to accept that Mark was gone. When Doug told her they were going to Chicago, she asked "What for?" and had refused to go.

"Doug?"

Doug turned to find the Chief of Emergency Medicine, Dr Isaac Henley behind him.

"Hey Isaac, what can I do for you?" Doug asked.

"I wanted to talk about Carol," he said simply, straight to the point.

Doug sighed heavily and ran a hand through his hair. He nodded, indicating Isaac should say what he came to say.

"I'm worried. She's working too much, spreading herself too thin. There have been more than a few mishaps," Isaac waved away Doug's attempt to interrupt, "Nothing too important. The other nurses caught her mistakes in time, but Doug, I'm worried. Is there something going on, something I should know about?" he asked.

Doug exhaled deeply, again. "A friend of ours...a very old, very good friend...he died two weeks ago," he murmured, hating saying the words aloud. It made them too real.

"Ah," Isaac said, "Now I get it." He placed a comforting hand on Doug's shoulder. "I'm very sorry."

Doug dipped his head and nodded. "I'll talk to Carol."

Isaac nodded too, tightened his grip on Doug's shoulder for a second, then let go and walked away. Doug glanced over to where Carol was starting an IV. Taking a deep breath, Doug crossed the room and stopped beside her.

"Hey," he murmured.

Carol looked up. "Oh hi, Doug. Sorry I really haven't time right now. I've three more of these to do and a whole bunch of other stuff, I've to run down to the pharmacy and check in on half a dozen patients..." she rambled on.

"Carol, we need to-'

"Carol, oh good! Can you do me a huge favour? The guy in two needs a new IV and I'm snowed under, can you take it?" It was another nurse whose name Doug couldn't remember.

"Sure!" Carol said instant, even though she had been complaining of her work load not minutes before. "What's the case?"

"End stage cancer, large tumour on his lung," the nurse said.

It seemed like things moved in slow motion. Carol's expression changed, crumpled into one of severe pain. The pile of charts in her hand slipped and crashed into the ground. Tears sprung into her eyes and her now empty hands clenched, her knuckles going white. Doug saw each of these changes, one by one, and reacted instinctively. This was it, her breaking point. Denial was gone. He wrapped his arms around her, pulled her into his chest and held on. Seconds later, her sobbing started, wracking her whole body. Tears flooded his own eyes as he held his wife close.

The nurse was looking at Carol strangely. "Dr Ross, is she-' she cut off as Carol's sobs grew louder as she gasped for breath, her whole body seeming to convulse in pain.

"Should I get someone?" the nurse asked instead.

"No, just get me two of lorazepam and bring it to Exam 6, now," Doug told her.

Carol was in full scale hysteria by the time the nurse returned and Doug pushed the drugs that would effectively sedate her. He knew she would most likely give him crap for sedating her, but her pain was too much for Doug to handle when he was still dealing with it himself and he couldn't leave her in the state she was in. Isaac arrived just as Carol's sobs faded and her body relaxed, now in a deep sleep.

"What happened? Ellen said she had a panic attack of some sort," the chief questioned.

Doug nodded. "She's been denying anything happened for the last two weeks. Then Ellen passed off a cancer patient to her and it just broke her. Our friend...it was a brain tumour," he attempted to explain.

Isaac just nodded. "Take her home when she's awake, I'll see to it that your shifts are covered."

"Thanks," Doug muttered.

Ellen had re-entered the room behind Isaac and Doug asked her to stay with Carol until she woke, then to come get him. The nurse agreed and he was out of there as fast as was possible. He made it to the Doctors Lounge before completely breaking down himself.

An hour later, Ellen came to find him. "She's waking up."

Doug rushed to Carol's side and was there when her eyes finally fluttered open.

"What happened?" she asked, groggily.

Doug took her hand in his and kissed it gently. Without him saying a word, comprehension dawned on Carol. She bit her lip as tears flooded her eyes once more. They remained silent for several long minutes, just staring at each other, reading one another's pain.

"I should get back to work," Carol said, finally, pushing herself up.

Doug held her down. "Carol...don't do this, not anymore," he whispered.

For a few seconds, Carol fought against his grip, but he held on tight and eventually she gave up. She squeezed her eyes shut, as if trying to squeeze away the pain.

"I wasn't there," she whispered, so quietly, Doug almost missed it.

"Carol," Doug began with a sigh, but she cut him off.

"No, Doug. I wasn't there. I just...wasn't. And I should have been."

Doug remained silent, still holding on to her hand. Her fingers laced through his and tightened on them. Her hand shook as she drew breath. "He's really gone."

She said it like a question and Doug nodded his head in reply, still holding her gaze.

She started to cry again, though not as hysterical as before. Doug moved onto the bed and held her close.

"I'm sorry, Mark," Carol whispered. "I'm sorry."


End file.
